You want to meet someone who you connect with at the deepest level, who cherishes every last inch of you, and who can’t wait to build a future with you. You want to meet someone who you can be completely yourself with, enjoy a healthy relationship that brings out the best in you, where you feel deeply loved, secure and seen.

But right now, that’s just not your reality. You’re wading through profiles online, spending endless amounts of time getting to know people and going out on date after disappointing date. Dating feels like a chore. Maybe you can hear the biological clock ticking and feel like you’re running out of time, but what other option is there?

I know what it's like. I've been there too!

My name is Julie-Anne Graham and I’m a relationship coach for women who want to break out of unhealthy patterns in their love lives, gain clarity about the kind of relationship they’re looking for and attract an incredible partner.

I work with single women who are successful in work, but unlucky in love. They’re tired of dating the wrong guys and worry they’ll spend the rest of their lives alone. I help them figure out why relationships haven’t worked out in the past, and build the skills they need so they can attract a healthy, committed relationship.

My story

I know how it feels when your love life is a source of struggle and frustration. Throughout my twenties my relationships never seemed to be right and I felt permanently dissatisfied. Either I was on my own, looking for someone, or I was in a relationship that I didn’t feel happy in. I ping ponged between relationships that rarely made it past the 6 month mark.

I thought I was just meeting the wrong kind of guys. I’d lament with my friends, that so-and-so wasn’t more thoughtful, so-and-so wasn’t more caring, why couldn’t so-and-so read my mind and give me what I needed the way I did for him? Here I was, doing my best to be so thoughtful and giving, and what did I get in return? Men that seemed to just think about themselves! Why did I have such bad luck? It certainly had nothing to do with me!

Then one day I was listening to some personal development talks online, and I stumbled across a talk about love. Apparently you could have patterns of behaviour that you were completely unaware of, that could cause men to treat you badly. A lightbulb went off in my head!

Were my problems in my love life more to do with me than I'd thought? If so, then there was a reason why things weren’t working out, and there was something I could do about it!

I was so excited! I had to find out everything I could.

So I delved in deep, and learnt as much as I could about what was going on. Uncovering these patterns had a profound effect not just on my love life, but in ALL areas of my life. I could see how I was holding myself back in work and not showing up fully in friendships and other relationships. Discovering these things had changed my life and I wanted to share the profound transformations I'd had with others. Before I knew it I was on a plane to America, to go train as a coach!

After my training, even though I had much greater self awareness, and the kind of men I was meeting had improved, I still hadn't met the right person for me. I felt like there was something missing. But I wasn’t sure what it was. So I put the coaching on the back burner, and concentrated on other things.

As I got into my thirties, online dating was becoming a big thing, so I started in earnest. Although I had a clear idea of what kind of person I was looking for, the men I chose never seemed to be quite right. Even if they appeared to be who I was looking for from their profiles, once I got to know them, there was something wrong - they were argumentative, they couldn’t have children, they always had to be right. I was attracted to their photos, their profiles, their writing style, but in real life there was something missing. I couldn’t seem to choose based on profiles. I was doing a terrible job, but I had no idea how else to meet people.

I began to find online dating exhausting and draining, but I kept at it because I felt if I gave up I’d be letting go of my dream of having a family.

I felt like I had no control over the area of my life that meant the most to me. Why did I keep picking guys that weren't right for me? And why were the relationships always so difficult?

Over and over again I kept being led back to the concept of Law of Attraction and the idea that like attracts like. I realised that so many of the things I had been doing to try and attract a man had been inadvertently sabotaging my attempts. By focusing on the absence of love, I kept attracting more absence. By focusing on the traits I didn’t want in a partner, I kept attracting more of them. My attention to what I didn’t want and fear that the next relationship would be the same as the last was actually creating that very outcome!

As I learnt more about Law of Attraction and started to use the practices my life began to blossom.

I started to feel happier and happier as I finally understood how to challenge any thought that made me feel bad. As I tuned my energy to what I wanted, I began to experience all kinds of magical coincidences and synchronicities that made me know for sure that the universe was responding to me.

Then one day I got the inspiration to use these practices on my love life. Over the course of a month, I did a spring clean, methodically going through all the negative beliefs I had about relationships. As I let go of old stories I’d been holding onto for years, the better I felt. Once this process was complete, I decided I could finally let go of trying to control things and just trust that the universe would sort it out in divine timing. I’d cleared out what was holding me back, I knew I’d done my part in getting ready, I could just sit back and relax, and have fun in the meantime.

So I did something radical that I'd never done before. I came off all dating sites! If the universe could keep the planets spinning in their orbits and the sun rising, it could find me a match without being on a dating site.

Then about three weeks after making that decision, my friend asked me to go out dancing. A cute guy spilled my drink and we got to talking. We danced, and laughed and kissed and at the end of the night, just before I was about to go home, I casually asked him, ‘oh...so what do you do then?’ When he told me he was training to be a mindfulness instructor I almost fell over! I’d been trying to find a ‘spiritual’ guy on 'spiritual' dating sites with no luck! Once my energy was right I didn’t need to find him, I let him find me.

Fast forward 4 years and we’re living together and couldn’t be happier. The relationship is so different to any I’ve had in the past.

It’s beautiful and fun and easy. We’re building a future together that I've always dreamed of and I know he is the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with.

When we got together my friends could see instantly how different this was to any of my previous relationships and how happy we were together. As I was talking about our relationship one day to one of them she said ‘I've got so many single friends. You’ve got to tell them what you did!’

So she arranged a small get together of 8 people in her friend’s flat, and I talked them through everything I'd done. By the end of it they were asking me to teach them! So soon after, I went back and started teaching them exactly what I’d done, step by step.

As the course progressed, I could see people changing. They looked brighter, more vibrant, happier. Their body language changed. Their attitudes changed. They started to gain control over how they felt, and began to attract different kinds of guys.

One thing led to another, and people began to hear about what I was doing and asking me to coach them. Before I knew it, I was coaching people full time and teaching classes.

Since then my clients have been attracting wonderful partners, moving in together, getting engaged, buying houses together and even having babies! But more importantly, they are blossoming in their lives, they feel so much happier, they are following things that give them joy, and they know how to make themselves feel good, with or without a man!

Looking back I can see that without the inner work I did, my relationships never stood a chance. I couldn't see what was sabotaging them so I was powerless to change it.

Today, I get to help incredible women uncover the things that could be holding them back in their love lives, and break free of them for good!

I love teaching people how to deliberately use their thoughts and emotions to attract amazing things into their lives, in relationships, and further afield!

This inner work changes everything, it doesn’t just affect one area of your life, your whole outlook gets an upgrade. I love my work as a relationship coach, and every day I’m thankful for the opportunities I have to make a tangible difference in my clients’ lives.

I know what it's like. I've been there too!

My story

Discover more