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How To Meet The Right Guy Off-line: 5 Reasons To Follow Your Excitement When Dating - Julie-Anne Graham Coaching

How To Meet The Right Guy Off-line: 5 Reasons To Follow Your Excitement When Dating

We all know when something feels exciting to us. It’s that feeling of ‘HELL YES, I want to do that!’ Or ‘WOW, that is SO interesting.’   What you may not realise is that excitement is actually guidance from your higher self, telling you to move in a certain direction.   If you'd like to ditch on-line dating and find out how to meet the right guy off-line, it's time to start tuning into that guidance.

Your higher self is aware of everything you want, and knows the best way to bring it to you. It’s like it’s up on a high mountaintop, shouting directions down to you in the valley. It can see where you want to get to, and knows exactly how to guide you to that destination.

The way you listen to that guidance is through your emotions. When something is exciting to you, it lights up. It has more energy than the other things around it. So you can actually follow your excitement like it was a trail of breadcrumbs, leading you to the perfect partner.

But the mind can get in the way

It's easy to follow your excitement when you're a child. When you’re 5 or 6 you have no problem doing the thing that’s fun, or interesting just for the sake of it. But when we become adults, often our ‘logical’ brain tries to quantify the benefit before it will let us do something that may seem frivolous, or just like play.

Your brain can’t figure out why going to an art class may lead to you meeting the right person. Instead it says, “You’ve got to do online dating. That’s the only way to meet people these days.”

So you do online dating, not because you feel inspired to do it, but because you feel you ‘have’ to do it, and you don’t meet anyone you like because the people you meet are a match to that uninspired energy.

The mind likes to be in control

woman standing on mountain top
The mind loves a straight line to get from one place to the next. It likes to see where it’s going. It doesn’t like taking a step without knowing how that step is going to lead to the next step.

But the mind can’t see the bigger picture. Only the higher self on the mountain top can see that.

The mind doesn’t know that in order to get here, you actually need to take two steps to the left, then three steps in the opposite direction before circling back around to get to where you want to go. It doesn’t make any sense. And that drives the mind mad!

For example, when Steve Jobs was studying in college, he took a ‘random’ class in calligraphy just because it was fun. That random class ended up inspiring him to create different fonts on the first Apple computer – which has completely changed the user experience in computing.

You can’t tell ahead of time how things are going to pan out, you can only see the connections by looking back.

Your higher self can see who would be an amazing match for you, and it can lead you towards that person, but you have to be prepared to follow what lights you up, even if it doesn’t seem directly related to dating.

To jog your imagination and give you ideas for what exciting things YOU'D like to do, you can do the Follow Your Excitement Quiz here.

It gives you more than 250 suggestions of groups you could join, activities you could do and places you could go that would excite you, and can lead you to the perfect guy for you! 

So to help your mind let go of the reasons why it’s not ‘sensible’ to follow your excitement, here are 5 reasons why it can be great for your dating life!

1.  Following your excitement raises your energy, which raises the quality of the men you attract

couple skydiving
It’s really important to raise your energy before you start dating or you may end up attracting someone who’s not a match to who you are at your best.

When you are following your excitement, you tune yourself right up to the top of the emotional scale, so you’ll attract guys who are a match to that energy. They’ll also be doing fun and interesting things and prioritising what matters to them. Going out with them will be an adventure!

Another benefit is that if you’re doing the things you’re passionate about, you’re also more likely to meet other people who share similar interests and you’ve got a lot in common with.

2. You’ll receive inspired thoughts about where to go and what to do

How to raise your energy to attract love | Photo of lightbulb
When you start following your excitement instead of doing what you ‘have’ to do, you’ll receive inspired ideas. All you’ve got to do is follow the breadcrumb trail.

For example, you may go out one day and notice a leaflet for an art class in a coffee shop. You feel excited about taking the class so you book in for it.  This is the first breadcrumb.  On the first day of class you feel drawn to sit down beside a particular girl. This is the second breadcrumb.  As the class progresses you two become good friends. She invites you to a Halloween Party and you are excited about going. This is the third breadcrumb.  At the party one of her friends tells you about a free event next week that sounds really fun. This is the fourth breadcrumb.  You and your friend decide to go together and end up bumping into someone she knows who happens to be perfect for you.

But that’s just one of many ways it could happen! Maybe you go to the art class and you’re so elated afterwards, your energy is through the roof, you’re shining and beaming at everyone and end up chatting to a guy behind you in the supermarket queue who turns out to be your perfect match. There’s no way your logical mind can figure this out.

And by the way, if internet dating genuinely excites you, it’s absolutely fine to do that! But if it doesn’t right now, then follow your excitement and let your higher self show you another way

3. It makes you more authentic - so you become more visible to the right person

When you’re stifled by routine, or what’s sensible, the real you doesn’t get a chance to shine. You may be moving in circles with people who don’t get you and don’t value the things that are important to you.

Once you start following your excitement and honouring what’s important to you, you’ll find other people who feel the same way about those things. In this way, it can actually tune you to more of who you truly are at your essence and help you become more authentic.

If you have the heart of an artist and you’re stuck in a boring administrative job where no one gets you, you need to find your tribe! It’s only when you step out and start taking steps towards what lights you up that you start to move in the right circles and become visible to the right people.

Maybe you have to let your inner wild child out and start going to Morning Gloryville and painting your face with glitter before work.

Or maybe you have to start pursuing your dreams first before you can become visible to the right person. Maybe you’ve always dreamed of being published, so you start writing again, join a local writers’ group, enter a competition and get shortlisted for a prize. You think this competition is about your writing, but you meet the man of your dream at the awards ceremony - he’s up for the same prize. Neither of you win but you find each other!

So if there’s a dream you’ve been putting off, think about pursuing it, it could be the very reason why you haven’t met someone yet. Perhaps the universe is doing you a favour by not presenting you with the right person. It could be saving you from a mediocre life, and it’s asking you to step forwards first before your love life falls into place.
iris apfel and husband

4. Excitement builds on itself, giving you ever more exciting choices

Diagram illustrating how the most exciting choice makes each successive choice more exciting
Diagram illustrating how choosing the least exciting option makes all successive choices less exciting
Following your excitement actually continues to elevate your energy more and more, bringing you more and more exciting things.

Imagine in each moment you have three choices. There’s one choice that is most exciting, one that is least exciting and one that’s neutral.

If you choose the most exciting option, your vibration will raise and you will be given another set of 3 choices, but they will all be from this higher point. ALL of these choices will be more exciting than the choices before.

If you choose the most exciting one of these your vibration will raise again and you will get another 3 choices, all more exciting than the last. And so it goes, and your vibration begins to rise, higher and higher.

But the reverse is also true. Imagine you go for the least exciting choice each time. Again, you will be faced with another set of 3 choices. But all of these will be less exciting than the previous ones. All of them will be at a lower frequency.

If you choose the least exciting one of those, then your vibration lowers again. Every time you get 3 more choices, all less exciting than the last. And so it goes, and your vibration begins to fall, lower and lower.

It can get to the point where you’re flatlining. Where nothing feels exciting or interesting to you anymore, and you can’t even think of something that would excite you. Often people who hate their jobs are in this state. The job trains their vibration lower and lower, presenting them with fewer and fewer exciting choices every time until they have lost touch with who they truly are.

So not only will following your excitement help direct you to the right person, your life together will be exhilarating, and keep getting better and better.

5. It makes you more desirable and easier to commit to

couple embracing
When you’re excited about life, when you’re doing things that you’re passionate about, that’s very attractive. If you’re moping around at home, waiting for a guy to come along and sweep you off your feet and fulfil you, that’ll feel like a heavy responsibility. Instinctively he’ll know that your happiness depends largely on him, and may run for the hills.

If you’re out there, doing things that bring you joy, hanging out with people who you love, your life is full, then there’s not the same pressure. Being together is just like the cherry on the cake. The relationship will feel light and fun and it’ll allow him to relax and commit to you without it feeling heavy.
Not only can following your excitement bring you step by step towards the right person for you, it can help you become more authentic, and match you with a better quality man who is truly suited to you. It can help you find your tribe, prioritise what’s important to you and live a more fulfilling life. It can also make you a higher quality date and more attractive to commit to. What’s not to love?
To jog your imagination and give you ideas for what exciting things you'd like to do, you can do the Follow Your Excitement Quiz here.

It gives you more than 250 suggestions of groups you could join, activities you could do and places you could go that would excite you!  When you're following your excitement, you're following the guidance of your higher self, and it will lead you to the perfect partner for you!